Temperament influences how a child behaves toward individuals and objects around them and how the environment affects them.  This concept also indicates that many behavioral tendencies are inborn – not the result of faulty parenting.  At a recent parenting class at Meridian Youth Treatment Center, parents were asked how understanding temperament would be helpful for them.  For one couple, understanding their child’s temperament helped reduce their anxieties, especially when their child acted out in a non pro-social manner.  Another parent exclaimed in what seemed to be his insightful moment – “Then it can’t be all our fault!”  He felt relieved to know that his child’s difficulties where not due to faulty parenting.  This parent went on to say that if he had understood this concept years ago he could have started taking preventative steps to help his son then.  Parents who take the time to understand their child’s temperament can work with their child rather than trying to change his or her inborn traits.  Knowledge of temperament can help parents adjust their parenting style and arrange their environment to help meet the temperament needs of their child, promoting harmony and well-being in the family.   

In the late 1950s, researchers found nine traits that were present at birth and continued to influence development in important ways throughout life.  Since then, research has continued to show that children’s health and development are influenced by temperament.

To examine a child’s temperament health professional use a series of interviews, observations, and questionnaires that measure nine temperament traits.  These nine temperament traits are:

1. Activity Level:  How active is the child generally?  Is the child always moving and doing something or does he or she have a more relaxed style?
2. Regularity:  Refers to the predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep.  Is the child regular in his or her eating and sleeping habits or somewhat haphazard?
3. Approach/Withdrawal:  Refers to a child’s characteristic response to a new situation or strangers.  Does he or she “never meet a stranger” or tend to shy away from new people or things?
4. Adaptability:  How easily does the child adapt to transitions and changes, like switching to a new activity?  Can the child adjust to changes in routines or plans easily or does he or she resist transitions?
5. Persistence:  This is the length of time a child continues in activities in the face of obstacles.  Does the child give up as soon as a problem arises with a task or does he or she keep on trying?  Can he or she stick with an activity a long time or does his or her mind tend to wander?
6. Intensity:  Relates to the energy level of a response, whether positive or negative.  Does he or she react strongly to situations, either positively or negatively, or does he or she react calmly and quietly?
7. Distractibility:  Refers to the degree of concentration and attention displayed when a child is not particularly interested in an activity.  Is the child easily distracted from what he or she is doing or can he or she shut out external distractions and stay with the current activity?
8. Sensory Threshold:  How sensitive is a child to physical stimuli?  Is he or she bothered by external stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or food textures or does he or she tend to ignore them?
9. Mood:  This is the tendency to react to the world primarily in a positive or negative way.  Does the child often express a negative outlook or is he or she generally a positive person?  Does his or her mood shift frequently or is he or she usually even-tempered?

According to Chess & Thomas, these traits combine to form three basic types of temperaments.  Approximately 65 percent of all children fit one of three patterns.

1. Forty percent of children are generally regarded as “easy or flexible.”  The child has a positive mood generally; quickly establishes regular routines and adapts easily to new experiences and calms self effectively.
2. Ten percent are regarded as “difficult, active, or feisty.”  The child tends to react negatively; cries frequently; has irregular routines; is slow to accept new experiences and cannot calm self.
3. Fifteen percent are regarded as “slow to warm up or cautious.”  The child is somewhat negative; has a low activity level; low adaptability; low intensity of mood and flat affect.

The other 35 percent of children are a combination of these patterns.

Knowing whether your child is inherently more active, more easily distracted, exhibits a higher intensity of emotional expression, and so forth is a good first step to understanding his or her nature.  By understanding these patterns, parents can tailor their parenting approach in such areas as expectations, encouragement, and discipline to suit the child’s unique needs.  For example, with the “Easy child” parents need to set aside special times to talk about the child’s frustrations and hurts because their child will most likely not ask for it.  Parents of a “Difficult child” will benefit from providing their child with opportunities for energetic play to release stored up energy and frustrations with some freedom of choice in order to allow these children to be successful.  These children will also benefit from advanced preparation of activity changes, which will help transitions from one place to another or one activity to another to go more smoothly.  Parents of a “Slow to warm up or cautious child” will benefit from structured routines and parenting in which you stick to your word.  Children with this temperament also benefit from being allowed ample time to establish relationships in new situations.

Parents also have temperaments.  A parent’s temperament influences how the parent experiences and reacts to his or her child’s behavior.  For example, if you are high in intensity you may react more strongly to your child’s refusal to try a new experience.  Parenting is also affected by your child’s temperament.  For instance, parents of children with more challenging temperament styles may find themselves being too firm if they have difficulty handling their child’s behavior or too permissive if they are worn out from dealing with the challenges.  Learning strategies tailored to your child’s temperament will help parents be more effective.

Parents can positively influence their child’s temperament by teaching their child that they will meet him half-way.  That is, parents will meet their child’s temperament needs, but also set certain expectations for their child’s behavior.  Parents can also teach their child to manage their temperament through acceptable outlets.  For example, research shows that highly inhibited children can become less inhibited if parents teach and give their child time to warm up when they are introduced to new people, places and things, rather than protect them from new experiences. 

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs around.  Understanding temperament may make it a bit easier and more meaningful.  Parents who are tuned into their child’s temperament and who can recognize their child’s strengths will find life more enjoyable.

Guilt and shame are with us from a very early age. Research suggests that guilt begins around the ages of three to six, while shame occurs much earlier – from fifteen months to three or even sooner according to some theories.  Though closely related, guilt and shame are different.  Guilt happens when you feel bad about your actions while shame happens when you feel bad about who you are as a person.  Guilt causes a person to want to make amends and reform while shame makes a person frustrated and humiliated.  Guilt says, “I’ve done something wrong;” Shame says, “There is something wrong with me.”  Guilt says, “I’ve made a mistake;” Shame says, “I am a mistake.”  Guilt says, “What I did was not good;” Shame says, “I am no good.” With guilt, the response is a desire for atonement, to correct a mistake, or heal a hurt. With shame, there are just painful feelings of depression, alienation, loneliness, isolation, inferiority, self-doubt, inadequacy, failure, helplessness, and hopelessness.

Guilt can be a very healthy stimulus to change our behavior for the better.  Healthy guilt is the feeling that occurs when you have actually done something wrong. This is an important feeling, which results from having developed a conscience. Healthy guilt results in taking responsibility for our choices and being accountable for our actions.

Shame can be a particularly problematic emotion because it is associated with a desire to hide, disappear, or even die. Shame is an emotion in which the self is perceived as defective, unacceptable, or fundamentally damaged. Shame is often experienced as the inner, critical voice that judges whatever we do as wrong, inferior, or worthless. Shame manifests itself physically in a wide variety of forms. We may hide our eyes; lower our gaze; blush; bite our lips or tongue; present a forced smile; or fidget. Other responses may include annoyance, defensiveness, exaggeration or denial. Because the effect of shame often interferes with our ability to think, we may experience confusion, being at a loss for words, or a completely blank mind. 

Shame can lead to unhealthy behaviors and misperceptions. In a study done by Ronda Dearing, Ph.D., Dr. Dearing found that people who feel shame are more likely to fall into alcohol or other drug abuse than those confronted with feelings of guilt. Dr. Dearing went on to state that successfully reducing shame is likely to result in better treatment outcomes.

Shame is often at the root of relationship discord. For example, if one member of a couple wants more intimacy, and/or communication than the other, both may feel shame as a result. The one wanting more intimacy may feel rejected and shamed for wanting too much, the other may feel shame for either not being comfortable with more closeness, or for wanting more distance than the other. Shame, because it is so painful, is often bypassed, and can turn into blaming each other (“You don’t love me!”, or “You’re too needy!”).  Unfortunately, this results in an increase in shame for both people, resulting in an escalation of blame, a vicious cycle that can have devastating results.

Clearly, these shaming inner voices can do considerable damage to our self worth. These self criticisms, that we are stupid, selfish, a show-off, etc., become, in varying degrees, how we see ourselves. For some of us, the inner critical judge is continuously providing a negative evaluation of what we are doing, moment-by-moment. The inner critic may make it impossible for you to feel you can do anything right, telling you that you are too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, that you are too selfish, or that you let people walk all over you.

Steps you can take to reduce shame include confronting the shame, talking to someone you trust about the shame, making an action plan to overcome areas in which shame is blocking your personal growth, engaging in positive self-talk, working on being more assertive (not aggressive), developing an external circle of support, and seeking therapy or counseling if necessary.

 If you have questions about the effects of shame on the development of your teen and how these effects may be stopped, call Meridian Youth Treatment Center for a consultation.

1.   The one thing your teen wants and needs most from you is your time. Brief periods of intense engagement can’t replace shared daily routines, nor can material advantages compensate for lost time.

2.   Do your best as a parent, but accept your imperfections. Being a parent that is not perfect teaches your child that it is okay not to be perfect. A child that is not perfect learns from their mistakes, and becomes open for new inspirations, growth and knowledge.

3.   To your child, your actions say more than your words.  Teens may tune out after a few moments of long speeches, but will remain very focused on your behavior. Model behavior – don’t lecture it.

4.   Listen to your teen before you speak. Feeling heard opens many doors. It doesn’t matter what you’re discussing; the more you listen to what your child tells you, the more effective your conversation will be.

5.   When your child asks a question, give a simple, truthful answer, regardless of the topic. Questions about death, reproduction and similar weighty matters may seem to require lengthy discussion, but they don’t. Providing too much information wastes the resource and overwhelms the recipient.

6.   Your teen is not responsible for rewarding your parenting; that gratification comes from within and can be a labor of great joys, deep sorrows and, most of all, lasting satisfaction.

Hang in there and hang out with other parents.

www.Meridianteen.com

Suicide rates differ between boys and girls. Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four times as often girls, because they tend to use more lethal methods.

A teen with a good support system of friends, family, religious affiliations, peer groups, or extracurricular activities has an outlet to deal with everyday frustrations. But many teens don’t believe they have an outlet, and feel disconnected and isolated from family and friends. These teens are at increased risk for suicide.

 Factors that increase the risk of suicide among teens include:

•     A psychological disorder, especially depression, bipolar disorder, and alcohol and drug use (in fact, approximately 95% of people who die by suicide have a psychological disorder at the time of death);

•     Feelings of distress, irritability, or agitation;

 •     Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that often accompany depression (a teen, for example, who experiences repeated failures at school, who is overwhelmed by violence at home, or who is isolated from peers is likely to experience such feelings);

 •     A previous suicide attempt;

 •     Family history. This can include a family history of suicide, mental disorders, and/or substance (drug or alcohol) abuse;

 •     Identifying as gay, lesbian, or bisexual;

 •     Lack of a support network, poor relationships with parents or peers, and feelings of social isolation;

 •     Substance abuse/alcohol abuse, which can create feelings of dependency, illness and depression;

 •     Feeling out of control and powerless due to drug or alcohol addiction can be a major risk factor in attempted teen suicide;

 •     Evidence also supports the idea that suicides are sometimes imitated. In particular, exposure to the death of a peer by suicide or by another violent means may increase the likelihood of subsequent suicides among young people in a community.

 Adolescence can be a period of great confusion and anxiety. There is pressure to fit in socially, to perform academically, and to act responsibly. There is also an awakening of sexual feelings, a growing self-identity, and a need for autonomy that often conflicts with the rules and expectations set by others.

Warning signs of a teen who may be thinking about suicide can include: talking about suicide or death in general, talking about “going away”, talking about feeling hopeless or feeling shame, pulling away from friends or family, losing the desire to take part in favorite things or activities, having trouble concentrating or thinking clearly, experiencing changes in eating or sleeping habits, or engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or driving too fast, for example). These signs do not always mean that a teenager is thinking of suicide, but they should alert others to talk with the teenager about what is on his or her mind.

Parents should not be afraid to ask their teenager if he or she is thinking about suicide.  Talking with them about suicide does not make teenagers do it. Showing concern and asking questions calmly is the first step when dealing with a suicidal adolescent. Asking teenagers how they feel and if they have thoughts of ending their life keeps open lines of communication and sets the stage for professional intervention. If a teen has a specific plan to act on a suicidal impulse, the risk is greater and immediate intervention is needed.

Whenever an adolescent has suicidal thoughts or makes a suicide attempt, professional help should be sought immediately to protect the adolescent from self-harm. Once the initial suicidal crisis is over, treatment with a mental health professional should continue. It often takes a number of sessions to help adolescents figure out what is happening in their lives that has led to suicidal behavior and to help them learn ways to manage stressors.

 If you are worried about your teen having suicidal thoughts or actions, or see any of the factors that increase the risk of suicide, contact a professional who specializes in the adolescent mental health or call Meridian Youth Treatment Center for a consultation.

Research shows that parents play an important role in teaching their children how to make friends.  The most popular kids are pro-social and are able to demonstrate caring, sharing, and helpful traits.  They also know how to control their selfish or aggressive impulses and behaviors.  Most of all, popular children are good at interpersonal skills: empathy, perspective-taking, and moral reasoning.  Parents play an important role in helping their children develop these skills. 

Research has revealed important things you can do to help your child make friends.  First, offer your child empathetic support by being an “Authoritative Parent” (not to be confused with being an “authoritarian”).  Authoritative parents believe in developing a close and nurturing relationship with their children while also upholding and maintaining a reasonably high level of expectations and rules.  Authoritative parents develop clear and fair behavioral guidelines for their children.  Studies show that authoritative parents tend to have kids who are less aggressive, more self-reliant, more self-controlled, and better-liked by their peers.  

Teach your child to be part of the conversation, not dominate it.  A number of studies have shown that unpopular kids improve their status with peers after they’ve been trained in “active listening”.  An active listener is someone who makes it clear he is paying attention – by making appropriate eye contact, orienting the body in the direction of the speaker, remaining quiet, and making relevant verbal responses.  

Children get along better when they are engaged in cooperative activities, i.e., activities in which kids work toward a common goal versus being competitive.  It is important to be aware of your child’s social life including where they hang out and who they hang out with.  Children are better off when their parents monitor their social activities. 

Finally it is important to teach your child about cultural differences.

Meridian Youth Treatment Center-Malibu

Meridian Youth Treatment Center – Malibu is a residential treatment center located in the calming hills above Malibu.  Our teen treatment center is a place where parents can find hope for their child.  Adolescents can achieve emotional clarity, psychological wellness and experience calm and balance.  At Meridian we help teens overcome psychological, emotional, behavioral problems, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. 

For more information please call us at

(818) 914-6283

Or visit us at our website at

www.MeridianTeen.com

Because the adolescent brain is a work in progress, substance use during adolescence has been associated with alterations in brain structure, function, and neurocognition.  Alcohol and drug use can have seriously negative effects damaging long and short-term growth processes. In some cases the damage done during adolescence can even be irreversible.

Short-term or moderate drinking impairs learning and memory far more in youth than adults.  Research has identified subtle but important brain changes that occur among adolescents who abuse alcohol resulting in a decreased ability in problem solving, verbal and non-verbal retrieval, visuospatial skills, and working memory.  For example adolescent drinkers scored worse than non-users on vocabulary, general information, memory, and memory retrieval tests than non users.  In a study comparing alcohol dependent and healthy control adolescents, it was found that drinkers recalled 10% less verbal and nonverbal information than controls, even after three weeks of monitored abstinence.  A similar degree of reduction was found on attentional and speeded information processing tasks as well as deficits in language competence and academic achievement.   Deficits in executive functioning, specifically in future planning, abstract reasoning strategies, and generation of new solutions to problems, have also been found.

The association between antisocial behavior during adolescence and alcoholism may be explained by abnormalities in the frontal limbic system, which appears to cause “blunted emotional reactivity.”  This can negatively affect self control, decision making, and behavior regulation. Blackouts, or alcohol induced amnesia in which a person does not remember events or behavior, are also common among adolescent drinkers.  This is due in part to the effect of alcohol on neural plasticity in the hippocampus.  The hippocampus is involved in the formation of new memories, and it can be disrupted by excessive drinking.  As heavy drinking continues, the brain becomes less able to compensate for the disruptions caused by the effects of alcohol.  Thus, the more a teen drinks, the higher the chances for developing permanent neuronal damage.

Marijuana use in adolescence has an adverse impact on brain development, leading to poorer performance on thinking tasks as compared to non-drug using peers.  Marijuana users also have slower psychomotor speeds, poorer complex attention, weaker verbal memory, and impaired planning abilities.  Although studies suggest that verbal memory function can be partially recovered within three weeks of discontinuing marijuana use, complex attention skills continued to be affected.

If you have questions about the effects of substance abuse on the development of your teen and whether or how these effects can be stopped, call Meridian Youth Treatment Center  at 818 914-6283 or email at info@meridianteen.com for a consultation.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) www.cdc.gov, binge drinkers are five times more likely to have sex, 18 times more likely to smoke cigarettes, four times more likely to smoke marijuana, four times more likely to get into physical fights with others.  Binge drinkers are 21 times more likely to miss class, fall behind in schoolwork, damage property, injure themselves, engage in unplanned or unprotected sex, get in trouble with the police, and drink and drive.  Research from Columbia University shows alcohol is the leading cause of accidents, murder and rape among teens.  Experts say it’s the most dangerous drug of all.  Teens who binge drink could be risking serious damage to their brains now and increasing memory loss later in adulthood.  According to the results of the 2006 National Survey on Drug Use and Health: National Findings (NSDUH), than one-fifth (23.0 percent) of persons aged 12 or older participated in binge-drinking within the last 30 days. 

Other statistics to consider:

•     The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13.  The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.

•     Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.

•     Seventy-seven percent of young drinkers get their liquor at home, with or without permission.

 •     Students who are binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college.

•     Nearly 25 percent of college students report frequent binge drinking, that is, they binged three or more times in a two-week period.

•     Autopsies show that patients with a history of chronic alcohol abuse have smaller, less massive and more shrunken brains.

•     Alcohol abstinence can lead to functional and structural recovery of alcohol-damaged brains.

Unfortunately providing teens with a list of statistics does not go far in terms of preventing binge drinking.  Teens tend to believe they are invincible and do not believe the statistics apply to them.  Teens benefit more from hearing about real-life examples of teens who have suffered consequences of binge drinking.  Meeting other teens who have suffered consequences from binge drinking is particularly effective.

If you are worried about your teen engaging in binge drinking, contact a professional who specializes in the treatment of substance abuse or call Meridian Youth Treatment Center  818 914-6283or email us at info@meridianteen.com for a consultation.

OxyContin, Percocet, Vicodin or Ritalin are easier to get than Budweiser, Corona, or Miller say a growing number of American teens.  For the first time in The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) survey’s history, more teens said prescription drugs were easier to buy than beer (19 vs. 15 percent).  The proportion of teens who say prescription drugs are easiest to buy jumped 46 percent since 2007 (13 vs. 19 percent).  Almost half (46 percent) of teens say painkillers are the most commonly abused prescription drug among teens.  So where are the teens getting the drugs?  From friends and classmates (31 percent), home, parents, and medicine cabinets (34 percent), drug dealers (9 percent), and other places (9 percent).  When polled by CASA, 43 percent of 17-year-olds said they could buy the drug in less than an hour.

Meridian Youth Treatment Center-Malibu

Meridian Youth Treatment Center – Malibu is a residential treatment center located in the calming hills above Malibu.  Our teen treatment center is a place where parents can find hope for their child.  Adolescents can achieve emotional clarity, psychological wellness and experience calm and balance.  At Meridian we help teens overcome psychological, emotional, behavioral problems, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. 

For more information please call us at

(818) 914-6283

info@meridianteen.com

Or visit us at our website at

http://www.MeridianTeen.com

Family Dinners

Family dinners are a simple way of decreasing the chances of teen smoking, drinking, and using illegal and prescription drugs.  The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) reported that compared to teens who eat dinner frequently with their families (five or more family dinners per week), those who have infrequent family dinners (fewer than three per week) are:

• three and a half times likelier to have abused prescription drugs;
• three and a half times likelier to have used an illegal drug other than marijuana or prescription drugs;
• three times likelier to have used marijuana;
• more than two and a half times likelier to have used tobacco; and
• one and a half times likelier to have used alcohol.

The Importance of Family Dinners IV

September 2007

CASA

Meridian Youth Treatment Center-Malibu

Meridian Youth Treatment Center – Malibu is a residential treatment center located in the calming hills above Malibu.  Our teen treatment center is a place where parents can find hope for their child.  Adolescents can achieve emotional clarity, psychological wellness and experience calm and balance.  At Meridian we help teens overcome psychological, emotional, behavioral problems, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. 

For more information please call us at

(818) 914-6283

info@meridianteen.com

Or visit us at our website at

http://www.MeridianTeen.com

Adolescent anxiety is on the rise and anti-anxiety medications are among the most abused drugs in the United States.  Anxiety and stress levels in teenagers have drastically increased over the last few decades.  As the pressures of the world around adolescents have increased, more and more teens are facing health problems both on the physical and on the emotional sides. 

So why are our teens so anxious?  First, anxiety conditions can be hereditary.  Anxiety tends to run in families, so if a person’s mom, dad, or other close relative has anxiety, they have a higher chance of developing anxiety themselves.  Second are environmental factors and life experiences.  Growing up in a family where fear and anxiety are constantly shown to children by parents or role models can “teach” children to be anxious.  High expectations of a child in academic or other performances can contribute to anxiety.  If a child grows up in an abusive home, he or she may learn to always expect the worst. 

Examples of stressors teens may be faced with are things like divorce of their parents, homework, grades in school, concern about how they look, and how they measure up to their peers, and peer pressures.  Most parents are not even aware that their teens are under a great deal of pressure in many areas of their lives.  Many times it is easy to chalk up teenage stress and anxiety a child is facing as just normal teen problems.  Yet, serious conditions are often present and should be addressed as quickly as possible by a professional.

Anxiety can affect many aspects of a teenager’s life.  It can affect a teen’s ability to make friends, perform well in school, and try new things.  This will make enjoying life very difficult.  Some teens who suffer from anxiety will attempt to treat themselves with alcohol, illicit drugs, or illegally obtained prescriptions drugs.  One of the common reasons teens use drugs like marijuana, according to teens we have talked with at Meridian, is that it helps to decrease anxiety.  Teens with anxiety disorders are more likely to use alcohol or drugs.  Paradoxically, alcohol and drug abuse behaviors may make conditions worse such as increasing anxiety, mood swings, depression, and decrease memory and cognitive functioning.

For teens dealing with anxiety disorders, symptoms can feel strange and confusing at first.  Constant worries can make a person feel overwhelmed by every little thing.  All this can affect confidence, concentration, sleep, appetite, and outlook.  Teens with anxiety disorders might avoid talking about their worries, thinking that others might not understand.  They may fear being unfairly judged, or considered weak or scared or may feel misunderstood or alone.  Stressed teens may show signs of emotional disabilities, aggressive behavior, shyness, social phobia and often lack interest in otherwise enjoyable activities.  If the anxiety is mild, parents can help by first understanding the illness, then listening to their teen’s feelings, keeping calm when their teen becomes anxious, reassuring their teen when appropriate, teaching their teen relaxation techniques, praising their teen’s efforts, providing structure, setting a good example by modeling healthy reactions to various situations, and planning for transitions, as transitions can cause anxiety.  If the anxiety is more than just mild, then the teen should be evaluated by a professional such as a qualified therapist or psychiatrist. 

If you are concerned about your teen suffering from anxiety, please call Meridian Youth Treatment Center where we offer an anxiety assessment and can help you determine whether your teen is suffering from normal anxiety or clinical anxiety.  Meridian can help you find the most qualified professionals to help.

Meridian Youth Treatment Center-Malibu

Meridian Youth Treatment Center – Malibu is a residential treatment center located in the calming hills above Malibu.  Our teen treatment center is a place where parents can find hope for their child.  Adolescents can achieve emotional clarity, psychological wellness and experience calm and balance.  At Meridian we help teens overcome psychological, emotional, behavioral problems, substance abuse, and co-occurring disorders. 

For more information please call us at

(818) 914-6283

info@meridianteen.com

Or visit us at our website at

http://www.MeridianTeen.com